Obituaries

Famed author and Yuba enthusiast Ernest Hemingway has died in his home in Ketchum, Idaho. He was 61. ...the year was 1961.

Yes, 1961. In short, the Yuba Post probably should have run this obit a few decades ago. If we had, then maybe the Yuba Village Council wouldn't have just voted to present Mr. Hemingway with the key to our town.

Whoops!

But to be fair to Post editors, the Village Council still should have known better. After all, they themselves protested one of Hemingway's posthumous publications in 1975. That publication was, of course, the short story Hills Like Brown Elephant Droppings: A Farewell to Yuba, which was a fictionalized account of Hemingway's trip to Yuba. The story paints a rather bleak and depressing picture of the town - very out of line with the head nod myth - and for this reason its publication was successfully suppressed by the Yuba Village Council in exchange for providing Scribner Publishing with exclusive rights to Yuba? You-Betcha!: A Brief History of Yuba's History (Unfortunately for Scribner, Yuba? You-Betcha!: A Brief History of Yuba's History was surprisingly unsuccessful and sales have yet to exhaust its first printing).

In their own defense, members of the Village Council claim that they thought the word "posthumously" meant "funny after the fact," and so they never realized in 1975 that Hemingway was actually dead. They just assumed his story was supposed to take a while to "get."

According to the Council, this breaking news will not alter their plans and Hemingway will still be honored with the key to the town this weekend. Said one council member, "We'll still be presenting the key, but we'll be presenting it to Hemingway after his death - what we like to call a posthumous presentation. Because posthumous means after someone has died. And Hemingway has died. A while ago apparently." The ceremony will still be held this Saturday in Sayler Park, but it has been shortened from five hours to eight minutes. Absinthe will be served afterwards in Picnic Shelter #2.