The Yuba Post Recommends: October

Today is the first day of October, and so we've asked our interns to compile a list of important information about the month.

...And it's a good thing we have interns to do this, since most of our staff has quit, gone missing, or been fired.

October Information:
-October is the tenth month of the Yubagorian Calendar.
-The Yuba Post has never published a column in the month of October... UNTIL NOW!
-About the word "October": "Octo" comes from the Latin word eight, since October is the eighth month of the year (though it is actually the tenth - rest assured someone lost their job over that little slip); "ber" is so that October can fit in with the months surrounding it (September, November and December) and be included in their End-of-the-Year-Months Gang (though this also failed, since the other months all end in "mber" NOT "ober" and so they wouldn't let October in the gang; the Middle-of-the Year-Months Gang and the Beginning-of-the-Year-Months Gang also ostracized October and it now exists alone and friendless within the calendar).
-October is sad.
-October has x days, where x + 3,000 = (y / 22) - .5 and y = 66,693
(hint: x is a positive integer)
-Halloween is the last day of October. This is a holiday based on a successful film series about a man in a white mask who kills teenagers. October tried to trade this holiday to November for Thanksgiving but November would have none of it.
-Brandon Hall was born in October, so we're guessing he approves of it.
-Mysteriously, there are no Wednesdays in October, only extra Tuesdays disguised as Wednesdays. There is no explanation for this.
-In 14% of wall calendars, the October photograph is a nighttime setting; this is second only to July (16%). (we have no sources to back this up)
-Pumpkin-flavored products begin to appear in October. Get them soon before they give way to eggnog-flavored products in December.

Don't forget to vote on our October sidebar poll!