A Yuba Post Special Report: June

Today in Yuba it is the first day of June.

To celebrate this achievement, our interns have rigorously researched important information about the month. We call it...

Everything You Need To Know About June
-June is the sixth month of the year in the Yubagorian calendar.
-June contains the summer solstice. This means June is the first month of summer AND the last month of spring. No other month has ever managed to have both spring and summer in it, though not for lack of trying.
-Many famous people celebrate their birthdays in June. Like maybe Sean Penn or Alanis Morrisette. We don't know who exactly, but many famous people must have been born in June. Even more if you count the dead ones. Maybe George Washington was born in June... except his birthday is around President's Day, which isn't in June... So maybe another dead president. David Palmer maybe.
-June is tied with July for having the fewest letters of any month except May.
-June is Brandon Hall's favorite month. He loves all 30 days of June. He just does.
-Intrepid explorer James Cook completed his first voyage around the globe in June of 1771.
-June was named after the Roman goddess Juno. Juno was the sister AND the wife of Roman god Jupiter, which is not something we approve of here in Yuba (despite what certain lowbrow Rapid City blogs might imply).
-A Google search for "June" yields over 700,000,000 hits. A Google search for "the yuba post" yields 3 hits.
-In the Northern hemisphere June is a good time to get a deal on long-sleeve shirts.
-June is Jake Ziegler's least favorite month. He hates June. He despises June. You see, he had a bad experience in June. And we could even tell you what it was all about - even though it's all very personal and private and stuff - since Jake would never find out because he'll never read this article since the word "June" is in the title. That's how much he hates June.
-In Rapid City, MI, June is known as the "Marry-My-Sister" month.
-There has never been an officially recognized LimerickPic written in the month of June (though this may change).