In and out of the Kitchen with a Kook: Free Eats!

The new White Stripes CD is worth checking out. Our music editor, Eddy, who is incidentally on a six-month sabbatical in the Sudan studying tribal drumming, has sent me a urgent message confirming the greatness of the Stripe's new album. Jack White's side project, the Racontours, is also notable to check out.
Now, all this news about the Stripes and their derivatives is incidental to the launching a one part mini-series on food and cooking entitled: in and out of the kitchen with a Kook. When Editor of the Post contacted me at 1am, obviously intoxicated, and urgently asked me to postpone my book signing tour to help the post's ailing food section, I had no option but to acquiesce to his offer. I was in debt to him for bailing me out of a Turkish Prison through his connections with high Turkish Government officials after I tried to smuggle topastirma, a heavily spiced sun dried beef, out of the country.
Now, with Yuba being the cosmopolitan metropolis it is, the residents are not strangers to the culinary traditions of the world's people. Yuba has more Scandinavian Pastry shops per parking meters, at a ration of 1:14, than any other city in the United States. Also, Yuba is home to the most fusion restaurants in the Midwest. Only a stroll downtown and your nose with lead you to the interesting local dish of Ghat, a pre-digested custard taken from the cow's third stomach, served at local hangout Tricycle Willy's Ghat and hot dog stand.
Now, onto the tip of the day. If you are low on cash or low on time to prepare food, there are a few things you can do to get yourself fed that night. One is to arrive at a friends house around 4:30. Make yourselves at home and let them know you plan to visit a while, and this was not a stop by and chat moment. Take off your shoes and pick a comfortable seat. Ask for a glass of water in a clear glass with ice. Don't drink this water. Inevitably, time will roll around to supper time. With no sign of leaving, they will ask you if you would like to stay for dinner. Pretend like you are tossing the idea around in your head, and agree to accept their offer with the utmost humility. Secondly, do what me and the wife like to call "the buffet sample". Simply create a map of all known kitchen stores, grocery stores, etc that offer free samples of cheese or whatever, and visit these stores. Call ahead if necessary to confirm the samples are out. Once at the store, grab a hand basket and put a few props of veggies or fruits in that can be put back after dinner is over.
Now, a recipe for a generic Souffle'. Sounds difficult, but it's not! like homemade pasta, this can be done quickly and cheap. Mix some milk and flour into a batter. Add an egg yolk (save whites). Next, pick whatever you want to use as flavor or filler (cheese, chocolate, fruit, veggies, anything, use imagination!) Mix this into the milk, flour, egg batter. Next take 3-4 egg whites and put them in a bowl and let come to room temperature. Put some acidic ingredients in it to help them fluff and beat them till stiff. Mix with the batter and mix-ins. Stir and put in pan and bake at 350 degrees till brown and puffy on top. Versatile for entree or dessert!