Guest LimerickPic Week: Day 7

Since no one else has submitted a LimerickPic, Guest LimerickPic Week is now officially over.

We have decided that our disappointment at not making it a full seven days could best be expressed with...
A LIMERICKPIC!

Rachel and Murphy and Nik Frank
And Puppies and Kelly we must thank.
If you're not one of them
Your silence we condemn
For on day six our Guest L.P. Week sank.


LimerickPic NOT written by a guest.
"LimerickPic" is a trademarked format by Yuba Industries.
There is clearly very little interest in licensing information.

Guest LimerickPic Week: Day 6, or, Yet Another Animal Picture

Sammy the Evil Cat here. I hope you enjoy this limerick picture. I wrote the limerick. And the picture is of me. And all who read it will perish.

From the shadows I study their flaws,
And I wait for their footsteps to pause.
If their ankles are bare
I'll leap out from my chair
And I'll tear at their flesh with my claws.


LimerickPic by Sammy the Evil Cat
"LimerickPic" is a trademarked format by Yuba Industries.
Do not attempt to contact Sammy for any reason.

Guest LimerickPic Week: Day 5

Today's guest LimerickPic comes from Yuba Post contributor Kelly. It appears to be a concerned response to yesterday's LimerickPics of Senator Murphy.



I read last night's post with chagrin
at the state that our Yuba is in.
What thoughts are bred
in a young child's head
when his newspaper's filled with such sin?


LimerickPic by Kelly
"LimerickPic" is a trademarked format by Yuba Industries.
We assure you, the Yuba Post is not filled with sin.

Guest LimerickPic Week: Day 4, or, Senator Murphy's LimerickPics: Special Edition

On Day 4 of Guest LimerickPic Week, we bring back Senator Murphy - of Double-Stanza LimerickPic fame. It turns out Mr. Murphy has a penchant for dirty limericks, which perhaps isn't surprising considering the dirty minds of most senators. As you may remember, the rules of Guest LimerickPic Week stipulated that "Dirty limericks are allowed."

...As it turns out, this isn't exactly true. Senator Murphy was so good as being dirty we had to ban some of his material, lest the purity of the Internet be tainted. Fortunately, the good Senator is a prolific LimerickPic writer (apparently his latest bill was written in LimerickPic form) and he sent us numerous LimerickPics to choose from. We present three of them here, and they get progressively dirtier. In fact, the final limerick was actually censored by our editors, though we doubt you'll be able to tell.

Enjoy.

P.S. - Senator Murphy says he may publish his censored/banned LimerickPics in their uncensored/viewable forms on his own blog, The Static (FYI - a "blog" is an amateur version of an online newspaper). You've been warned.

In a cemetery, I watched this kid cry.
It was pretty funny. I cannot lie.
Santa's stone head
He's dead. He's dead.
Then the crybaby went back inside.

I was talking to a friend who lies.
His length he tried to surmise.
We came to this tree
On a snow covered beach
He said, "Yeah, that's about the size."

I entered the ice cave on my nightly hunt
But quickly regretted that silly stunt
For weeks I sought
To change my lot
When a shaft of light led me out of that location.

Guest LimerickPic Week: Day 3

Continuing our puppy theme, today's LimerickPic comes from Rachel:
(editor's note: this is perhaps the funniest LimerickPic ever)

There once was a puppy named Goon
Who sniffed 'round the apartment til noon
But one tragic day
He sniffed the wrong way
and Sir Sausage thought angrily, "Soon."


LimerickPic by Rachel.
"LimerickPic" is a trademarked format by Yuba Industries.
Contact Sir Sausage if you need a feline columnist.

Guest LimerickPic Week: Day 2

We continue Guest LimerickPic Week with another LimerickPic that references Yuba Post staff. This seems to be a disturbing trend.

Today's LP comes from Puppies-Are-Cute@hotmail.com and eerily echoes the sentiments expressed by Puppies Rock last week in a letter to the editor regarding our preference for feline columnists over puppy columnists.

There once was a puppy named Loyal
Whose heart was broken by Pop Doyle
He asked for but a chance
Too prove his significance
But instead got nothing for his toil


LimerickPic by hpesojnad.
"LimerickPic" is a trademarked format by Yuba Industries.
Licensing not available to puppies.

Guest LimerickPic Week: Day 1

We kick off our first ever Guest LimerickPic Week with this fitting LP from Nik Frank-Lehrer:
(note: our editor denies the legitimacy of this photograph)

Yuba’s editor must get his fix
Of sporting events, cat-naps and flicks
With Jalen clutched to his lap
And a villainous laugh
He declares, “I’ll solicit others’ LimerickPics!”

LimerickPic by Nik Frank-Lehrer.
"LimerickPic" is a trademarked format by Yuba Industries.
Contact the National Football League for licensing information.

Guest LimerickPic

-Prepare yourselves.

-What follows is the only officially licensed double stanza LimerickPic in the history of the known universe.

-This LimerickPic was not written by Yuba Post staff.

-Yuba Post staff have been attempting double stanza LimerickPics for decades, but have never succeeded.

-Yuba scientists have studied pictorial-literary phenomenons and deemed the double stanza LimerickPic to be unrealizable, and "purely the stuff of science fiction."

-And yet, Yuba Post correspondent Brandon Hall has composed - using legible English and an actual photographic depiction - a double stanza LimerickPic.

-It was the first LimerickPic he ever attempted to write.

-He must be brought down a peg:

-Brandon Hall is from Williamsport, PA, home of the Little League World Series, and yet, as a boy, he failed to play in the Little League World Series, and this failure nullifies any accomplishments he has achieved, or will achieve later in life, including the composition of double stanza LimerickPics, and renders his existence on this planet unsuccessful.

-Better.

-This is the first officially licensed double stanza LimerickPic in the history of the known universe, created by Brandon Hall:



It was a harmless walk down the Yuba street
When I came across this puffy seat
It spoke to me--
Not figuratively
So terrified, I hustled home in the Yuba heat.

The next day, I returned to the chair
Still stranded there in the summer air
Again it spoke
And told this joke:
What kind of animal sits on your head? A hare.

My chair has a crappy sense of humor.


Photo presumably taken by Brandon Hall.
"LimerickPic" is a trademarked format by Yuba Industries.
Contact Nik Frank-Lehrer for licensing information.

Lost in Yuba Part 3: Because Rhyming "Yuba" Wasn't Enough Fun the First Time

Though Jeffrey was quite fond of Yuba,
He'd rather be lost in Aruba.
For an adventure there
Has a little more flair,
Not to mention superior scuba.


Photo by Jeff Richardson. August 9th, 2007. Yuba, Michigan.
"LimerickPic" is NOT a trademarked format of Flair Entertainment.
Contact Nik Frank-Lehrer if you must, but he's halfway to Indiana by now.

Yuba Highway: The Nightmare Continues; Or, Yuba is Hard to Rhyme

There once was a blogger in Yuba
As lost as a lemur in Cuba.
He drove 'round and around
'Till his gas gauge went down,
Then went off on foot sans his tuba.


Photo by Jeff Richardson. August 9th, 2007. Yuba, Michigan.
"LimerickPic" is a trademarked format by Yuba Industries.
Contact Nik Frank-Lehrer for licensing information.

Yuba Highway

Mr. Richardson's blog would transmit
Phony news from Yuba with poor wit.
Though he liked to crack wise
'Bout the town's lack of size
He got lost when he visited it.


Photo by Kelly Edwards. August 9th, 2007. Yuba, Michigan.
"LimerickPic" is a trademarked format by Yuba Industries.
Contact Nik Frank-Lehrer for licensing information.

A Photograph Accompanied by a Corresponding Limerick

While crossing Ohio by highway
Your senses may dull, bore and decay.
This is actually good
If your passenger should
Pass odorous gas of fish fillet.


Photo by Jeff Richardson. May 4th, 2006. Ohio Turnpike.
"LimerickPic" is a trademarked format by Yuba Industries.
Contact Nik Frank-Lehrer for licensing information.

Strawberry-Rhubarb Pie

There once was a pie quite delicious -
so flavorful, tasty, nutritious!
Still it was a surprise
To baker Kelly's eyes
When Jeff finished it so expeditious(ly).


Photo by Jeff Richardson. June 20th, 2007. Brooklyn, NY.
"LimerickPic" is a trademarked format by Yuba Industries.
Contact Nik Frank-Lehrer for licensing information.

Because the World Needs More Coney Island LimerickPics

At the Mermaid Parade cheer and leer
At the women who wear no brassiere.
At their pasties and paint
I'd stare without restraint
But I can't see a thing from back here!


Photo by Jeff Richardson. June 23rd, 2007. Coney Island, Brooklyn.
"LimerickPic" is a trademarked format by Yuba Industries.
Contact Nik Frank-Lehrer for licensing information.

LimerickPic Trilogy: Episode III

The hot dog contest (Coney Island's)
Reminds me of Scots at the Highlands.
The larger look tougher
But smalls make them suffer
And... Jeff, put down the damn camera! I'm reciting a limerick here! Enough with the stupid pictures already! ...You know what, just forget it.


Photo by Jeff Richardson. September 4th, 2006. Coney Island, Brooklyn.
"LimerickPic" is a trademarked format by Yuba Industries.
Contact Nik Frank-Lehrer for licensing information.

LimerickPic Trilogy: Episode II

I went to the island of Coney
With Matt and with Jeff my old crony.
I practiced speed eating
For future competing
Against Kobayashi the phony.


Photo by Jeff Richardson. September 4th, 2006. Coney Island, Brooklyn.
"LimerickPic" is a trademarked format by Yuba Industries.
Contact Nik Frank-Lehrer for licensing information

LimerickPic Trilogy: Episode 1

We traveled to Coney Isle duly,
'Twas Dinger, Jay-ar and yours truly.
Hot dogs with chilicheese,
Onions and ocean breeze
Combined for a stomach unruly.


Photo by Jay-ar Kelyman. September 4th, 2006. Coney Island, Brooklyn.
"LimerickPic" is a trademarked format by Yuba Industries.
Contact Nik Frank-Lehrer for licensing information.

Guest LimerickPic

As you might have guessed, The Yuba Post receives bags and bags of email everyday from its readers. Almost all of it is ignored, of course, as we really only check our mail for sweepstakes invitations and the forthnightly Yuba Trading Post catalogue. Recently, however, something caught our attention: Poemin' Jerome, the Poet Laureate of Acme Township, sent us a LimerickPic. It references one of Jalen the Cat's previous columns, and thus might be categorized as a "LimerickPic Response" - the first that we know of. It is presented here for your reading pleasure:

The bus has a cat named Macavity -
That purple thing's such a depravity.
Subway's my game.
Tokey's my name.
I live down here with all the ga-ravity.

Photo by Poemin' Jerome.
"LimerickPic" is a trademarked format by Yuba Industries.
Contact Nik Frank-Lehrer for licensing information (though Poemin' Jerome made no such contact).

The Williamsburg Book Club

While most book clubs focus on reading,
The Burg's has a different proceeding.
These ladies share passion
For reading and fashion;
The former is clearly receding.


Photo taken at the Frank-Lehrer residence. March 4th, 2007. Williamsburg, MI.
"LimerickPic" is a trademarked format by Yuba Industries.
Contact Nik Frank-Lehrer for licensing information.

Yuban Homesickness

The skyline of New York is thrilling,
The reach of the buildings is chilling.
But there's nothing quite like
Horizons from a hike
Through Yuba when tractors are tilling.

Photo by Jeff Richardson. January 27th, 2007. New York City, NY.
"LimerickPic" is a trademarked format by Yuba Industries.
Contact Nik Frank-Lehrer for licensing information.