Yuba's neighbor uses special forces to launch 'hearts and minds' campaign.
Rapid City has secretly developed an aggressive ninja special forces unit to use in its escalating conflict with Yuba, says a high-ranking Rapid City government official. The member of Rapid City's oligarchy asked not to be named for fear of ninja reprisal. The Yuba Post has found independent corroborating evidence of this devious scheme. This website, http://www.askaninja.com/, provides conclusive proof of the Rapid City ninja force. The website is clearly an effort to win the hearts and minds of Yubans at home and abroad. A campaign of this sort can only be the precursor to an invasion by the dreaded ninjas.
The ninjas launched the website in an effort to engender themselves to the Yuba citizenry. The ridiculous and idiotic way in which the Ninjas answer questions that are supposedly submitted by viewers is clearly an effort into tricking the superior Yuba military into thinking that the Rapid City ninjas are not dangerous.
A senior Yuba official, speaking on the condition of anonymity--though admittedly, there is only one Yuba official--suggested that there may also be coded messages hidden within the Ninja broadcast. "Why else would they be talking about these ludicrous topics," the official said.
The recent sabotage at the Yuba post--which an in-depth investigation attributed to ninjas--is more clear evidence of Rapid City's aggressive intentions. We at the Yuba Post, while we believe strongly in the importance of an objective press, cannot in good conscious remain silent about this devious plan. Thus, a message to all patriotic Yubans, don't be fooled, there are few things more dangerous than a ninja.
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